Parents Role in Developing a Child’s Emotional Intelligence

The books at Everfield Press model positive ways to manage feelings.  They help children cope with the world through a strong development of one’s emotional inner life.  When a child can cope with feelings of Fear, Anger, Love, Sadness, Happiness, Annoyance, boredom, and amazement, they become strong citizens of the world who learn to trust and accept the world around themselves and especially trust their inner compass.  The inner light of each of us is what guides us to do the right thing at times when the outside world can be confusing.  Taking time to work with the way we feel inside empowers all of us to cope with our world.  Sometimes it is hard to figure out exactly what is going on with your child on a day to day basis.  Having a regular reading time together with books that explore the inner workings of our feelings

Most parents want to be perfect parents.  There is not one parent who is perfect.  The role parents play in their child’s emotional intelligence is paramount.  Children see their parents as models for coping with the world.  While parents are busy parenting, it is so easy to forget about that role.  It is people like Fred Rogers who reminds parents to slow down and remember what is important for children in their emotional development.  The world will continue to spin, but the dance we make upon it depends on the rhythm and the beat of the music we play around us.  It is parents who set the tone and decide upon what music a child will listen to in their early years.  Being a parent has not made me an expert.  It has humbled me.  It has humbled me because I know each day is a new day, and my child is a human being with her own experience of the world that I must learn how to instill confidence, patience, appreciation, love, respect, generosity, praise, honesty, security, justice, and the value of friendship. Showing my child that I believe in these positive qualities by what I say and do is the best way to get them to absorb them.

So, at the end of a long day at work, after your child has eaten dinner, taken a bath, and is ready for bed, start a reading routine.  Tuck them in gently.  Sit beside their bed with a book.  Have a reading light next to the bed.  Look at the words and the pictures together.  Have a discussion with your child about their feelings as you read a book with them.  The process of being read to will develop their sense of language and build a tonal bond between you and your child like no other.  You and your child will be building an emotional history together that will be there for both of you when times get tough and when joy springs forth. You may be setting the tone for the music of your relationship you make together today.  One day, they will be directing the emotional music of their own lives in ways that will be harmonizing with the orchestra of life in ways you cannot now even imagine.



Dorothy Law Nolte

If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.

If a child lives with fear,
he learns to be apprehensive.

If a child lives with pity,
he learns to feel sorry for himself.

If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.

If a child lives with jealousy,
he learns what envy is.

If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns to be confident.

If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.

If a child lives with praise,
he learns to be appreciative.

If a child lives with acceptance,
he learns to love.

If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.

If a child lives with recognition,
he learns that it is good to have a goal.

If a child lives with sharing,
he learns about generosity.

If a child lives with honesty and fairness,
he learns what truth and justice are.

If a child lives with security,
he learns to have faith in himself and those about him.

If a child lives with friendliness,
he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

If you live with serenity,
your child will live with peace of mind.

With what is your child living?